This tactic requires that you already have at least one phone number - and that she’s at the very least, semi-interested in you to the point where she’ll text you.

But those 2 things are easy.

That said, even if you’re in a dry-spell - you’ll still want to grab THIS PIC because Jason and I have some ridiculously awesome stuff coming your way soon. So that dryspell is about to be done-zo.

This is the single greatest text message response to any permutation of the question “what are you doing?”

This is seriously the most awesomely evil txt message response to any permutation of the question “whatchu doing?, “what are you up to?,” etc.

Next time you get that txt - Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just send this picture.

It will instantly differentiate you from the pack because it will be so out of left-field.

And it’s a great way to say “you and I… we should bang” without actually saying it. The cute baby and sheer hilarity will totally disarm her and she’ll be 100x more receptive to the idea.

It’s pretty genius.

Without further adieux (didn’t even google that spelling), I present to you The Ultimate Text Message of Doom.

Use it.

Download it to your phone here.